Bertie Higgins Sails Away to Key Largo

If you've ever been in a dentist's waiting room, you've undoubtedly heard the soft-rock strains of the infectious hit "Key Largo." You know the one: "We had it all/Just Like Bogie and Bacall." As you sit there reading this, you KNOW you're humming it. It's OK... we won't tell.

What you may or may not know is that artist responsible for this great slice of 80's pop is not who you might expect. Most people think it's the ever-popular Kenny Rogers or some other bearded wonder. But NO! Mr. Rogers would never lower himself to writing a sappy, melodramatic ball of cheese later heard in elevators... ok maybe he would, but that's not the point. The point is, that "Key Largo" is the work of none other than one Bertie Higgins.

Bertie who? True--there may have been a time when this guy wanted to legally change his last name to "who," but the name is Bertie Higgins. Truth be told, Mr. Higgins had a fairly forgettable career in the 70's as a member of the band "the Roemans"--a fantastic play on words, considering the lead was some guy named Roe. After the band broke up (we're guessing that it wasn't because they were TOO successful), Mr. Higgins moved back home to Florida, where he churned out a few albums that no one ever saw or heard of. However, all that changed in 1982.

Don't call it a comeback! In '82, Higgins released a dripping-with-cheese soft rock album called "Another Day in Paradise." A cross between Jimmy Buffett, post-1980 Doobie Brothers and 1,000 packets of sweet-n-low, the album was anchored by a song about living in a 1940's movie. That song was "Key Largo."

Ah, Key Largo. "We had it all," the song says. And for a brief moment in time (and many Musak tapes throughout time), Bertie Higgins had it all. The song hit 8 on the pop single chart, and a dazzling number 1 on the adult contempo charts. It's lyrics were indicative of a strange obsession Higgins had with 1940's films. (Another song on the album is called "Casablanca."). Unfortunately, the pop landscape of the early 80's was not really the best place for references for 40-year-old films.

The fickle 80's didn't keep Higgins around for too long. By the time he released his second single form the album, Bertie was fading from the public consciousness faster than Michael Dukakis. By the late 80's, Bertie's claim to fame was simply being a strange visual amalgam of Michael McDonald and Dan Fouts.

In 1994, Higgins released a feeble attempt at a best-of CD, but it was much too late. (Plus, CD's are usually more than one track, unless you're King Crimson). C'est La Vie, Bertie. The 80's giveth and then they take it away. But for a brief moment in time, Bertie Higgins "had it all." Here's hoping he had as much groupie sex as humanly possibly while it lasted.

· To find out more about Bertie Higgins, you can visit his homepage
· If you want to get your hand on "Another Day in Paradise," check out Amazon.com
· If you have iTunes, you can hear more here

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